page 37: Shame had flooded [Milkman]. He had expected to feel it, but not that kind; to be embarassed, yes, but not that way. [Pilate] was the one who was ugly, dirty, poor, and drunk. The queer aunt whom his sixth-grade schoolmates teased him about and whom he hated because he felt personally responsible for her ugliness, poverty, her dirt, and her wine.
Questions:1) If Milkman isn't responsible for Pilate's poverty and dirt, who is? Macon Dead? Pilate herself?
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I believe that Pilate is responsible for her “ugliness, poverty, her dirt and her wine”. I don’t think there is anyone else to blame. She became the way she is because of her own decisions. Milkman should not feel personally responsible for the way she is. Milkman is feeling this way because he was always teased about his aunt when he was younger. This made him angry and he hated her for being the way she is. Maybe Milkman felt responsible because he needed a reason why Pilate lives the way she does. Milkman couldn’t understand why anyone would want to live the way she does. I also think that Milkman was extremely ashamed to call Pilate his aunt because he would never want to live that way. Pilate loves her life and wouldn’t do anything differently. She became who she was because of the journeys she took and the decisions she made along the way. Pilate may feel no shame for the way she lives but many other relatives are ashamed of her.
-Gillie Jacobi
At first glance I was leaning towards Pilate, but after reading the novel I think Macon is responsible for Pilate's poverty and dirt. He leaves her in the cave to fend for herself and after it's all over Pilate comes back and Macon refuses to take her in or to help her. Back then it was a lot easier for a man to live on his own rather than a woman, especially with no navel. Pilate proves that she can be a hard-worker even in communities that keep about their own business. She chooses not to leave behind her own child when many women would and has shown that with an opportunity any thing is possible.
I think that it is Pilate's fault for her problems such as her poverty and dirt. She is totally responsible for what has happened in her life and shouldn't blame her issues on other people. Milkman is past the point of embarrassment because of the way his aunt lives her life. In Pilate's mind she is disrespecting their family. He feels shame because he didn't stand up for his aunt and defend her when the kids would tease him about his aunt Pilate. He does not feel shame because she has embarrassed him, but more because she is apart of his family.
I don't think you can blame anybody else if you aren't successful. The truth is it is her fault for her poverty and dirt. I do think it was wrong for Macon to leave Pilate in the cave and not to take her in, but in life you have to fight for what you want not sit around a feel sorry for yourself.
I believe that both Macon and Pilate contributed to Pilate's "poverty and dirt." In this scene, Milkman is emotionally closer to his father and would blame Pilate for her poverty. But, as Robey stated, Milkman leans more towards Pilate towards the end of the novel and would most likely blame Macon for his aunt's poverty. From my standpoint and after evaluating the circumstances, I think that if Macon hadn't left Pilate in the cave, she might have followed in his footsteps in some ways and would definitely not have ended up as she did. But, in the time that Pilate was alone, she developed the independence she would need to survive as she had up until this point. I also agree with both Austins' opinions that you can't fully blame anyone other than yourself for your quality of life. Pilate could have done something more worthwhile than she actually did.
Pride Snow
Bad circumstances, experience, and misfortune play a part in the lives of everyone who, if even for a second, faces the world on their own. Part of life is going through things that are both physically and emotionally unbearable, and suffering, unfortunately, is unavoidable. Everyone has suffered at the hands of someone else, and been victim to another’s choices and decisions in life; that’s a fact. While Milkman’s insecurity in relation to his aunt, and his hesitation to claim her would obviously have an effect on Pilate, it’s not a valid claim to ever say that the way she is and the way her life turned out is due to her nephew. All people experience moments of shame and regret, but as a person, Pilate should have overcome the emotions fighting to pull her down, and used them to propel her through life. There is only one person to blame for a person’s success, and that is themselves. Pilate, instead of crumbling because of it, could have used her nephew’s embarrassment over her and the things she had gone through as an initiative to better herself, and to come out in the end as a stronger and better person because of it. Life is all choices, and the blame game doesn’t change that. You yourself, as an individual, are the only one responsible for the quality of your life.
I believe Pilate is ultimately responsible for her own life. For example, when she became pregnant and had the option to move in with the father, she refused and left the tribe. She has made her own decisions that affect the outcome of her life. Aside from my opinion, Macon Dead played a huge role in her life by abandoning her. Leaving a young girl in a cave, alone, is a thoughtless decision made by Macon that feeds into a large part of Pilate’s ugliness, poverty, and dirt. Macon contributes to all of his little sister’s flaws, but should not be held responsible for fixing them.
At first glance I would've thought that Pilate is the one responsible for her, "ugliness, poverty, her dirt and her wine". She is the one responsible for her life and to provide the things for her children and herself. From other people's perspectives though it would seem that she lived in poverty, but in my opinion she had all she needed. She never wanted all the wealth and status that Macon Dead carried with his name, nor did she try to get it. She brought her lifestyle unto herself and her family but was okay with the decision. She could never blame anybody for her way of life and never strived for anything above her status. I don't think she ever blamed anybody for her status. She remained nice and gentle to Milkman and Macon until the end even though they both wronged her and even tried to steal from her. So in the end i believe she was the sole person responsible for her poverty but in her eyes she didn't see anything wrong with the way she lived.
I think Pilate is responsible for her "ugliness, poverty, her dirt, and her wine." In your life you have to make your own descisions. No one can make them for you. Everyone goes through hard circumstances in life, but you cant let them control who you are. If Milkman really loved his aunt he would look past her downfalls because love conquers all.
Pilate is responsible for her "ugliness, poverty, dirt, and her wine." The things that happen in your life are based off of your own decisions not anyone elses. Milkman shouldn't feel responsible for the way that his aunt is because he has never been around his aunt and hasn't contributed to any of her decisions whether they were good or bad. I think that most of the other people in the town believed that Pilate lived in ugliness, poverty, and dirt but to Pilate she was happy and had enough.
-Brianna Coker
I think both Macon and Pilate share the responsibility for Pilate's "poverty and dirt". Macon contributed by abandoning 12 year old Pilate in a cave and leaving her to fend for herself. Abandonment changes people. She had to adjust o a lifestyle without a constant rock in her life. Maybe that's why she never moved in with Reba's father- she couldn't trust anyone but herself. Therefore, she only cares about her image of herself. She could care less what Macon or anyone else thinks of her appearance or her lifestyle. However, I don't think that Pilate was really living in poverty. She had everything she needed (except maybe a relationship with her brother). Pilate is responsible for her "ugliness and filth", but I don't think she really cares. The only thing that matters to her is her family and being present for her girls when they need her.
Macon is ashamed of Pilate, but he brought it on himself. He cared more about money than his sister and now he is paying for it. Maybe deep down, Macon is ashamed at himself because he knows that his leaving made Pilate the way she is.
I think that it Pilate is responsible that she’s “ugly, dirty, poor, and drunk.” As pretty much everyone else said, everyone is given certain circumstances in life that they can’t control, but it is up to the individual to make the best of them. Both Macon and Pilate were in that cave, parentless, with pretty much nothing to their name. Pilate ended up selling bad wine and Macon ended up owning half the property in town. I think that it’s important to realize, though, that it’s not important to Pilate to be rich or own properties, or be a clean and proper lady. In a way, she has succeeded in living life the way she wanted to. I think Milkman doesn’t understand at this point why anyone would want anything other than the rich lifestyle his family has, and feels bad that one of his people has so much less than he does, and that his family hasn’t done anything to help her achieve the kind of success that Macon has, even though Pilate might not want it.
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